Greetings Friends,
During this season of Thanksgiving, we may often be reminded to take note of the good things in our lives and to give thanks for these as well. I have found myself writing notes and sending emails and messages of gratitude to people that have supported me this year in my growth, my work and my life. This practice has a profound impact on my frame of mind, my mood and my overall sense of well-being, as it shifts the focus off of my "perceived life problems" and onto the goodness in others and the world itself. It reminds me too that I am not alone on this journey, that there is great support here for me if I am willing to open myself up to it and receive the help. (A topic for a future blog for sure!)
Having said all that, we certainly cannot deny the tragedies and challenges in the world either, and maybe even in our own lives. So how do we find gratitude in the midst of experiencing sadness, confusion, loneliness, loss, anger, resentment, betrayal, fear, insecurities, depression or the like?
Through the personal work that I continue to do in my own life and through witnessing that of others doing similar work, I know that gratitude can be found because we do have control over our feelings. (Yippee!) This control often has to do with our point of focus and the choices we are willing to make.
Did you know that we have anywhere from 60,000 to 90,000 thoughts per day? And are you aware that our emotions are directly connected to the thoughts that we are thinking??? If you are not conscious of this, I would invite you to begin noticing when you are feeling negative emotions and check into the thoughts occurring in your mind - positive or negative?
My own freedom from stress and unhappiness of any kind comes when I realize and accept that it is not a particular situation, or person or thing that is causing me unhappiness, but rather what I am thinking about that particular situation, person or thing that is causing me stress and unhappiness. This can be a hard pill to swallow, but let me tell you...it is incredibly freeing if we are willing to accept this reality. When I begin to question the truth of my thoughts and make the choice to become willing to let go of my painful emotions, I can experience relief and shift my focus to see that situation, person, thing and myself in a new light.
Some people say that I have certainly lived through a fair share of "tragedies" in this lifetime. Through the practice of mindfulness, I have learned to observe thoughts and emotions that arise from moment to moment, feel them and meet them with non-judgement. With this conscious awareness, I can then use processes such as The Work by Byron Katie and LOA processes to free myself of stressful thinking and move into compassion, understanding and hopefulness. Willingness, often motivated by enough discomfort, enables me to acknowledge and feel my emotions, question my thoughts, make the choice to let go of the negative and shift my focus to seek out the goodness in me and the world. This certainly does not happen over night, although it does happen with guidance and with the simple desire and readiness to move toward freedom.
When I can be humble enough to suspend my own opinions of right and wrong/good and bad, the challenges in my life can become unending gifts that teach me more and more about the heart's capacity for understanding, compassion, non-judgement, acceptance, forgiveness and love.
And then . . . the beautiful and humbling Grace of Gratitude emerges as I see that I and the world have been transformed through what I first perceived as a negative experience in my life.
So today my friends, I hold the intention that we each may find the ability to give thanks for the good in our lives and also for the challenges that arise day to day, trusting that it can all lead us toward greater freedom and love . . . if we so choose.
At Mary F. Holt International, we hold to the motto that "It's All Possible!" We do this not only because it is our belief, but because it is our experience...we have lived and continue to live the transformations first-hand, and we invite you or anyone you know to join us as we co-create our lives with freedom and joy! And we would love to hear about your experiences of gratitude for the good and for the challenges in your lives - feel free to comment below.
Many blessings to you and yours as this season of Giving Thanks continues, and until our next blog . . . keep breathing.